Lean on Me
by Tonks85
Summary: How do you get over the loss of someone you love? How do you move on and get back to your life? These questions weigh on James Potter's mind as he enters his sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
1. Chapter 1

With a heavy sigh, he came to slow halt several feet away from the Hogwarts Express which was due to depart in a mere five minutes. Taking his hand, he casually ran it through his disheveled hair and turned around to see his best friend, Sirius Black.

" Oi! Prongs!" he called, now coming up behind him, " Guess who I was just talking to? Greta Helmings of Hufflepuff. Merlin, did she ever grow during the summer."

He gave James his usual mischievous smile and took another fleeting glance in the opposite direction to the blonde haired Hufflepuff as she made her way onto the train with several giggling friends.

James remained silent, nodding his head in reply to Sirius's remarks. However, it was clear to Sirius that he wasn't interested. He had had alot on his mind these past few months and Sirius's attractions to the opposite sex didn't exactly rank at the top of his thoughts. Instead, they drifted to his parents. He felt a dull ache inside his chest as he thought of his father.

It was quite obvious to everyone that the Potters loved their son more than anything. Armus and Evalyn Potter were not the youngest witch and wizard by any means. The pair had always been dedicated to their work at the Ministry and had been getting up in age, even by wizarding standards. So to have been given a beautiful child late in life was truly a blessing for them. They put James ahead of everything else and yes, were even guilty of spoiling him.

However, these last few months had been rough. James had returned home for the summer holidays only to be welcomed with troubling news. His father was ill. The news had shocked him. He was exceptionally close with his father and his illness had hit him hard. But despite it all, he had remained positive that his father would pull through. He was strong and James believed he could do it. Towards the end it seemed as if this was becoming true. Armus had started to feel much better and even looked healthier than he had in weeks. But that all changed a week ago when he took a sudden turn for the worst. In the wee hours of a gloomy monday, Armus Potter had passed away in his bed...leaving behind a devastated son.

Lost in his own depressed thoughts, James quickly gave a shake of his head. He couldn't keep thinking about this...he didn't want to keep thinking about this. He also knew he couldn't keep up this gloomy, vacant world he found himself in but he just couldn't seem to dig himself out. Everyone had told him that in time he would be ok...but as he stood there about to board the train that would whisk him away to Hogwarts, he just didn't see that happening.

" You see Mooney or Wormtail?" James asked, taking his gaze off of Sirius and to the bustling crowd before them. Following suit, Sirius quickly scanned the crowd and shook his head.

" Maybe they're on the train. We'd better get our butts on, otherwise we'll find ourselves sitting with Snivellus" he joked., " Although I am pretty sure you wouldn't mind that, seeing as though that means that Evans may be there."

It was then that he noticed her. Her thick red hair hung loosely down her back and he watched as she threw her head back in laughter at something her dark haired friend, Mary Macdonald, had said.

If this was last year he would have gone up and tried with all his might to impress the girl he had crushed on since first year but that was last year and things had changed. However, that didn't stop his stomach from doing its usual flip flops that it did whenever he got within a two mile radius of her.

The two laughing girls had stopped giggling as they saw the two boys approach and James could feel his heart begin to quicken in his chest. In that moment, he had locked his hazel eyes wth her sparkling green ones and he could feel the smallest trace of a smile begin to form at the corner of his mouth. But it quickly dissappeared as soon as it had come. With a small nod in her direction, he continued passed her and onto the train towards his sixth year at Hogwarts.

Lily Evens tried to repress her laughter as she listened to her good friend and fellow Gryffindor, Mary Macdonald, go on about her horrendous summer camping trip with her mother and her mother's new Muggle boyfriend.

" I mean, why can't she just date another wizard? At least we wouldn't have to keep up this Muggle facade. Lily, it was terrible. We had to sleep on the ground!"

Her brown eyes widened in despair as if waiting for Lily's to do the same. Instead however, Lily let out a roar of laughter. She could not help it. Her friends helpless, pouting face was just too much to take.

" Well, good for your mother. You can't help who you fall in love with " Lily said.

Mary grunted in reply, letting her eyes fall upon two familiar looking boys making their way in the girls direction.

" Speaking of love, Lily, here comes your admirer" Mary cooed, a smile suddenly developing on her fair face.

Lily followed her friend's gaze and her smile instantly left, being replaced by a tight lipped frown.

" Great, just what I need" she mumbled.

Crossing her arms she watched them approach. Her stomach began to turn as she waited for him to bounce up to her and begin his usual arrogant chit chatter. But instead of stopping to talk, he kept on walking; sending her a brief small smile and a curt nod before making his way onto the train.

Lily was left speechless.

" Wow, that was definetly a first." Mary murmered.

It was at that moment that their friend and Gryffindor, Franciene Green, came up behind them. Her long, dirty blonde hair was tied up in a loose pony tail behind her head and her face was flushed as if she had just ran a mile.

" Frannie!" Lily grinned, rushing over and giving her good friend a tight hug. " How was your summer?"

Letting go of the hug, Fran scrunched up her small button nose and shrugged. " Boring. Spent the whole time up North with my great grandmother. Love her to death but not alot to do." she replied, dully.

" Well, you'll never guess what just happened" Mary cut in, " Lily just saw Potter!"

Fran's face remained indifferent as she heard this.

" So..."

" So, he didn't even approach her!" Mary began, " He just walked right on by without so much as a hand through the hair or wink!"

Fran nodded, her face becoming sullen, which didn't go unnoticed to Lily.

" Well, he has been going through alot these past week. His father just passed. According to mum and dad, Armus Potter was extremely ill."

Lily knew that Fran and her family were close to the Potters. Fran had mentioned it on several occasions and was even quite friendly with James, despite Lily's grumblings. With their parents being friends, the two had been aquainted with one another since they were small. Infact, Fran was always the one at Lily on the whole James subject. She couldn't even keep track of how many times her friend had bugged her about giving him a chance, that once you got to know him he was a decent bloke.

" That's awful" said Lily, sympathy filling her face.

" Wow, is Lily Evans feeling sorry for James Potter?" Mary questioned. This statement caused Lily to frown.

" Mary, I may dislike Potter but that doesn't mean I don't feel any remorse for what he must be going through. Loosing a parent like that cannot be easy...no wonder he wasn't himself."

As the trio began making their way onto the crowded train, Lily's thoughts surprisingly stayed locked on James Potter and his empty hazel eyes that had made contact with her own.

" It was so cool," Peter gushed as he shoved another pumpkin pasty into his already overflowing mouth. " He did this spectacular spin dive to catch the snitch. I thought he was going to hit the ground!"

Peter's mother had suprised him with tickets to a Chudley Canons game over the summer holiday and he now felt the need to spend the last hour since they boarded the train talking about it.

" Ugh! Mind swallowing that wad of food in your mouth before you talk. It's highly disgusting" Sirius grumbled from beside the now pink faced Peter. He smiled, satisifed, when Peter instantly shut his mouth and bit his bottom lip in embarrassment.

" Hey Mooney, guess who Prongs ran into before boarding the train?" he said, changing the subject.

Remus set his 6th year Defense against the Dark arts book down onto his lap and gave Sirius a small shrug.

" I dunno..who?"

" Evans" Replied Sirius. He wiggled his eyebrows up and down and sent James broad grin.

Remus's eyes seemed to have lightgened up at this as he too glanced beside him to James, who had remained fairly quiet throughout the ride thus far.

" And how did she hex you this time Prongs?" Remus joked, hoping to get a laugh out of his friend. He wasn't surprised when his attempt failed.

" Wouldn't know...I didn't stop to talk."

This piece of information seemed to have troubled Remus as he looked down at he floor with a bothered frown.

" Prongs, what you need is Betty Davids. That fifth year from Ravenclaw...now she is a looker" Sirius grinned.

" What Padfoot is trying to say," sighed Remus, " is that you can't stay in this hole forever. You need to get back to the things you loved to do and get yourself back on track."

Closing his eyes, James could feel the beginnings of a headache coming on. He really didn't want this right now. Why couldn't they just leave him be? Wasn't he allowed to handle this in his own way?

With a heavy sigh, he stood up with a start and made his way for the compartment door. He had to escape, if only for a little while.

" Where are you going?" asked Remus.

" I need to stretch my legs" was his reply as he left the compartment and his worried friends behind.

Stepping out of the compartment, he casually made his way down the thin corridor and came to a halt at the food trolly where a gathering of students stood making their requests. Squeezing in behind a tiny second year, he managed to get his way to the front.

" What would like dear?" asked the elderly women, giving him a warm smile.

He scanned the cart eyeing all the goodies that lay before him.

" I'll have one of those Tingling Tongue Twisters."

He quickly handed the women his money and grabbed his food. He was just about to turn around and wiggle his way back through when a voice made him stop.

" Erm...do you have any of those Tingling Tongue Twisters?" Lily Evans asked.

She gave the women at the trolly a polite smile as she brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

" Sorry dear. This boy here grabbed the last of them" she said, gesturing towards James.

It was then that Lily looked over and made eye contact with him.

" Would you like anything else?"

Turning her attention back to the elder women, she smiled and shook her head.

" No thanks. I am not that hungry actually"

He watched her retreating back as she slowly turned away and made her way back towards her own compartment. It was at the precise moment that something deep inside his gut demanded that he say something. Looking down at his Tingling Tongue Twister, he made an instant decision and followed her.

" Hey, Evans!" he called out, side-sweeping a burly seventh year and making his way towards her.

She turned around and faced him, a confused look crossing her face. Leaning on one hip, she crossed her arms tightly around her chest and gave him an impatient look.

" Yes?"

" Erm...I just thought you would like my Tongue Twister..." said James lamely, holding out the sweet.

She raised her eyebrows as she glanced at it.

" You chased me down to give me your sweet?" she asked, giving him an amused smile.

" Well, I did take the last one...and I am actually not that hungry... but if you don't want-"

She shook her head, cutting him off from his rant.

" No," she began, " That's actually very decent of you...didn't know you had it in you, Potter."

He smiled at this as he casually ran a hand through his hair.

" I can be decent you know..."

" Hmm...somehow your name and the word decent don't seem like a good fit."

He could tell that she was joking with him as she had laughed and sent him a friendly smile. It was the first smile that she had ever sent his way and it made his stomach flip and flop at its very sight.

A few seconds of awkward silence before Lily decided to break it.

" Um...I..uh...I'm sorry to hear about your father..." she said quietly, her eyes suddenly becoming fixated on the sweet that she held in her hand.

He nodded as he too took his gaze downwards. Even though he knew that this girl before him detested his very guts for five whole years, her statement seemed genuine; that, their personal feelings for eachother aside, she really was sorry for his loss.

" Thanks..."

" Well, I'd better be getting back. Thanks again, Potter" she replied.

Turning around she left him standing dumbfounded and surpringingly lighter than he had felt in weeks.


	2. Chapter 2

There was something different about him. There was something different in the way he spoke to her, a maturity that she couldn't help but notice. Of course, he did just loose his father. Give him a few months and he'll be back to being his arrogant, toe rag self she thought to herself as she made her way towards her compartment. It was then that she was stopped in her tracks by a familiar figure leaning against the wall beside the compartment door. His pale face showed signs of aggravation and his dark eyes narrowed at her in anger.

"You were talking to Potter?" asked Severus Snape.

Crossing her arms around herself, she pursed her lips tightly together and shrugged.

"So what if I was?" she coolly replied,

"Lily, he is a self absorbed, big headed-"

Raising her hand, she stopped his insults. She didn't need to be having this conversation right now, especially with him.

"If you must know, he has just lost his father. I was giving him my condolences."

He sent her a dark frown and took a small step towards her. "Another attention seeking opportunity for Potter I see..."

Ignoring his last remark, she eyed him with a hard stare before she reached for the door.

"Lily, would you just talk to me?"

Whipping around, she faced him. Her face was flushed with anger. "Talk about what? Like I told you at the end of last term...you've chosen your way and I have chosen mine. I really don't think we have anymore to discuss."

"I think we do" he countered.

"As long as you keep hanging out with the people you do and joining their little Death Eater club then no, we don't." Holding her head high, she reached for the door. "Now, if you'll excuse me...my friends are waiting for me" she snapped.

She didn't even look at him as she entered the compartment and shut the door in his face.

It was amazing what one small smile from Lily Evans could do to him. He went from feeling cloudy and grey to feeling a sense of lightness inside of him; a sense that maybe everyone was right...that in time he will be ok.

Even Sirius and Remus had noticed a change when he had returned. He had strolled back into the compartment with a dopey smile on his face and had instantly asked who was in for a game of Exploding Snap.

"What's gotten into you, mate?" Sirius asked, half surprised and half impressed.

James furrowed his dark eyebrows and grabbed a seat across from Sirius. "What? Can't a guy want to play some Exploding Snap?" he questioned.

"Well, considering the mood you were in five minutes ago when you left...something had to have happened" said Remus.

"Nothing happened. Just took a short walk...you know, cleared my head" he lied.

He didn't know why he wasn't filling his three best friends in on what had just happened. For some unexplainable reason he felt like keeping it to himself.

"I bet he stole a Mood Booster from that Brenda McKay. The girl is a walking potions store" joked Sirius.

"I didn't steal anything from anyone. I just...I don't want to be bothered about it, OK?" James asked sternly.

If you say so, mate" was Sirius's reply.

Remus looked apprehensive but decided to back off of the subject. After all, he really didn't want to be the one to ruin James' sudden good mood with a bunch of nagging.

As for Peter, he nodded lamely in the corner as if he wasn't even present.

"Ok, so who's in for a game?" James smiled.

It wasn't long before James found himself stepping off of the Hogwarts Express and onto the familiar platform at Hogmeade station. A cool breeze whipped through his hair as he lugged his suitcase in one hand and his snowy owl, Luner, in his other. With a flap of her wings, she clicked her beak softly and looked up at him. She had been his owl ever since first year and had been there through many good times and now bad. To him, she was a close friend.

"See Remus anywhere?" Sirius asked, as they made their way towards the doorway that led outside onto the road.

Remus, being a Prefect, was in charge of supervising the students as they got off of the train and James knew that they wouldn't see their friend until all of this was done. Remus took his duties seriously...when it came to things besides themselves that is. In fact, James had the feeling that Dumbledore elected him Prefect in hopes to keep them in line...a plan that had obviously failed.

With Remus nowhere in sight, the remaining Marauders allowed themselves to be pushed forward by the oncoming crowd, down through the door and onto the dirt road. It was there that the hundred or so carriages waited to take them to the castle. However, when they had finally come to a halt, James had to give his hazel eyes a hard rub and a double-take.

The normally horse-less carriages weren't horseless at all! Instead, standing in between the shafts were what appeared to be reptile looking horses.

"What is it?" Sirius asked.

"What is it?" he asked in disbelief, "Can you not see what is pulling the carriages?"

His hazel eyes were wide with amazement and a sparkling gleam entered them as he slowly made his way over to the one closest.

What? Ok Prongs...have you been mixing fire whiskey in with your pumpkin juice again?" asked Sirius, chuckling slightly.

Now standing right in front of it, he slowly stretched out his hand. There was a few seconds of hesitation before he gently placed it on the creature's back. Turning his head around, he looked at Sirius in astonishment.

"You mean you can't see them?"

His gaze went back and forth between Sirius and Peter. The pair both looked confused as they gave their heads a small shake.

"They look like the same ol' carriages to me" Peter piped up.

As he continued to stare at his friend's bewildered faces, he finally realized that they must be telling the truth...they couldn't see the odd looking horse type creatures at all!

"I see nothing...zippo...zilch...basically, I agree with my good friend, Peter, on this one. Same ol' carriages to me" Sirius grinned. "I think you're hallucinating, mate."

James decided to let the subject go for now. Was he hallucinating?

He was beginning to think so since everyone around him seemed to be oblivious to the animals. He gave the creature one last glance before stepping into the carriage with Sirius and Peter.

"What an ordeal that was" Remus breathed, jumping into the carriage behind his friends. "Some group of Slytherins thought it'd be amusing to set off some of those stink bubble's..."

He said this more to himself than to the rest of them as he closed the carriage door and took a seat across James and Sirius with Peter sitting beside him. In fact he was too busy fixing his robes to even notice Sirius tap James on the shoulder.

Opening his pocket slightly, James peered down to see a pile of Zonko's stink bubbles sitting in the pocket of his coat.

"I couldn't help myself" he whispered, a smug smile coming to his handsome face as the carriage began to pull away.

A small groan escaped Lily's mouth as she flopped down onto the cushy armchair in the Gryffindor common room later that night. The feast had gone smoothly and Lily, with her eyes being bigger than her stomach, had unfortunately stuffed herself to the breaking point. Her stomach ached in protest as she laid still, not daring to move.

"He kept looking at you throughout the whole feast" Mary said. Her eyes were closed as she stretched herself out along the scarlet couch adjacent from Lily.

"Who Potter?" Fran asked.

"No Snivell-"

Before she could finish the name, Fran had cut in.

"Mary!" she warned. "You know Lily doesn't like it when you call him that."

Lily closed her green eyes as she listened to their banter. It was true...she used to hate it when people would call Severus that name but things had changed. Why should she defend him to her friends when he obviously didn't do the same for her? She had had enough. As far as she was concerned, they weren't friends. And as much as that saddened her, she knew she had to do it...There is only so much pleading you can do before you give up. And she was finally seeing that no amount of begging was ever going to get him to change.

"I don't care anymore" she said, keeping her eyes closed. "I have had enough when it comes to him."

"But there has to be something that could mend your friendship. You two have been friends for so long" said Fran.

Mary sent her a hard glare and shook her head. It was no secret to Lily that Mary had always been against their friendship. From day one she had been skeptical of Snape and his dark arts obsession. So to have her best friend away from a potential Death Eater, was not upsetting her.

"You can't change him Lil. He is so obsessed with fitting in somewhere that he has lost himself."

"That doesn't mean he can't change" Fran argued back.

Lily sighed and finally opened her eyes. "No...Mary is right. He has lost himself and this time I think it's for good..."

It was at that moment that the portrait hole burst open and loud laughter filled the room. Lily recognized the voices immediately. They belonged to the Marauders...the troublemakers of Gryffindor. When she finally turned around to look at them she couldn't help but notice that Potter was nowhere to be seen. She didn't know why this struck her as weird...maybe it had to do with the way he looked on the train. She couldn't get those empty eyes out of her mind and even though she couldn't believe she was thinking this, she was worried about the prat.

"Earth to Lily..."

Snapping away from her thoughts, she turned back around to see her two friends staring at her in amusement.

"What?"

"We asked if you were ready for bed..." Fran smiled.

Pushing all thoughts of Potter out of her mind, she gave them all a quick nod and made her way up to the girls dormitories, eager for her soft bed and fluffy pillow.

A cool September breeze ran through James' hair as he sat with his knees up to his chin in front of the lake. This had always been his get-a-way place whenever he needed to be alone and had worrying thoughts on his mind, which was quite often. To his peers and everyone around him he was James Potter, the troublesome Marauder who never let anything get to him or worry him. Ever since he was young, he had mastered the art of concealing his feelings, often using humor and sarcasm to cover up what he truly felt. But appearances can be deceiving and he was the king of that. Secretly, he spent many nights thinking about many different things and worrying about stuff he couldn't control...like his mother.

He had been thinking about his father a lot the past week but his worry went to her. She was not much younger than his dad been and her health, now that he was gone, was troubling him. He felt that, at this time, his place was with her...not at Hogwarts. But, in typical Evalyn Potter fashion, she demanded head go and get his education and that she would be fine on her own. Her reassurances did nothing to comfort him and with only great pushing from her did he get on the train with a promise to write regularly.

He bit his bottom lip slightly as he let out a heavy sigh. Standing up to his feet he grasped the silk fabric of his invisibility cloak...the cloak that was given to him by his father when he entered his first year. Throwing it over himself, he casually made his way back into the castle, trying to leave his troubled thoughts behind him.

�I can't believe I took potions...Why did I take potions again?" Mary complained as Lily and she made their way down into the dungeon for their first NEWT potions class.

Lily gave a soft chuckle. "Because you love it."

"Mhm...right" Mary said sarcastically, rolling her eyes to emphasize her point. "Another year with Slughorn...ugh!"

"You're just sore because you are never invited to his Slug Club gatherings" Lily replied. "I don't know why. You aren't missing much."

Ever since first year, Lily had been on Slughorn's favorite list; a small list of students in which he saw potential...or to Mary, saw an opportunity for suck up.

"I am not jealous. Trust me!"

Even through her friend's scowl, she could tell her friend was lying. Not being in The Slug Club bothered her like nothing else. If it was one thing Mary hated, it was not being included; especially when her two best friends were both included in these special gatherings.

Turning the corner, the pair slowly made their way into the dark potions classroom and took a seat at the table upfront, their usual place. Lily hated sitting at the back of the classroom. She liked to get a good view of everything and, to her, that couldn't be done sitting at the back with the likes of the Marauders.

Looking around the classroom she was surprised to see very few students. Across the room there were four Slytherins including Severus sitting darkly in the corner, a small group of Hufflepuffs and two Ravenclaws. Were Mary and she the only Gryffindors taking NEWT level potions? They couldn't be...could they? Just as this thought crossed her mind, her question was answered when she saw James Potter and Remus Lupin stroll in. Their voices were hushed as they talked quietly amongst themselves and took a seat at the closest table to the back door.

"Great...look who just strolled in" Mary whispered. However, Lily didn't have a chance to reply.

"Welcome! Welcome everyone" came the booming voice of Horace Slughorn. His round belly gave a great jiggle as he made his way to the front of class. "Now then..." he began, " Who do we have?"

His eyes swept over the small group of students and a wide smile came to his round face as his eyes rested on James.

"James my boy, why don't Mr. Lupin and yourself come a little closer? No need to be sitting way at the back in the shadows" he chuckled. "Come along."

Lily turned her head slightly around to see Remus and James slowly gather their belongings and stand up.

"Why don't you come up to the front here and sit with Miss Evans?"

She could see James let out a small sigh as he grudgingly made his way up to the front table and took a seat on the end beside Lily while Remus took the only available seat left at the other end beside Mary.

"That is better" Slughorn said, his round, pink face, showing much approval at having two of his favorite students side by side.

It was then, as she watched James sit down beside her and set his belonging out in front of him, that a sudden feeling of uncomfortableness swept over her. It only took a few seconds, however, to realize that this uncomfortable feeling was radiating from the other side of the room and not from beside her.

Taking her green eyes off of the table before her, she let them shift to the other side of the room where Severus was eyeing her with his dark eyes. A weird sensation came over her, a feeling she had never experienced with Severus. She could see and feel the same anger he showed her on train; the anger that was only caused by one person...James Potter.

Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, She quickly adverted her eyes away from him and back to the front.

"What's wrong?" Mary questioned, seeing the odd look that crossed her friend's face.

Forcing a smile, she turned to her friend.

"Nothing...honestly!" she reassured, when she saw the hard look her friend had sent her.

"Now, I would like everyone sitting on the ends to turn to the person who is sitting beside them" Slughorn ordered. Confused, the students did as instructed and Lily watched as James gave her a quick glance with his eyes.

"The person you are looking at will be your new potions partner...for the rest of the year!"

Lily's heart seemed to stop as she heard this piece of information and she inwardly groaned. Just what she needed...to be stuck with Potter for a whole year.


End file.
